Everyday my life changes for the better. Every day I feel happy, kinder towards others, loosened, more confident in myself and Savior, remember more good things and less of the bad, and I learn something new about my God. I don’t think there will ever be a day where I am exactly the same person. I want to live each day to the fullest and make it all about God and his Glory.
Six days ago I started my Bible study to prepare me for my trip to Papua New Guinea, which I leave for in 15 days. It is called The Road Less Traveled and it has been blessing my life and has got me thinking intensely about my prayer life. Sometimes I don’t want to pray because I’m not ready to let go of what I am holding onto and trying to keep from God. Sometimes I forget how big God is and don’t trust that he can take care of my problems and needs. I think I know better than God, which I don’t. I have been praying a lot because I want to keep my focus on Him and his kingdom. I know he will give me my desires, if my desires are his. When I put all my trust in the Lord I know I will experience deliverance from my worries about this trip and other happenings in my life.
Worry is best described for me in Crazy Love. The book says, “It implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.” When I believe this lie, it’s like I try to convince myself that I have the right to disobey God because I think it’s too much for Him to handle.
I believe prayer is the key to all the changing I have been experiencing. It brings me deliverance, courage, and joy. I was reminded today, reading Crazy Love, that my life is only two-fifths-of-a-second that occurs between the time Jesus’ was resurrected and the time when we will all worship God on his throne. So, why waste the short time that I have all about me, when I know it should be all about glorifying God. I have been very selfish. I was created by God for God, not for myself. I need to glorify God, whether I am eating a sandwich, talking to a friend, or drinking coffee late at night because I forgot to study for a final the next day.
I no longer want to worry each day, especially not about the past. The past is gone and over. I am a new person striving for the one, and only thing that matters and then everything else should just take its place in God’s time. I want to wake up each morning with God on my mind; remembering where He has brought me and that He is with me always. I don’t know how I have ever gone a day without remembering that he is there and in control of all things. Why is He so easy to forget? Why on Earth does he love someone like me?
I will never have the answer to that last question. I guess the answer is that God loves you and me because He just does. We were created for Him and to love Him in return. Another thing that is coming to mind right now is that I want to love God not for only for what he has given me, but for who he is and what he has done for me.
As a final note, I want to share with you one of my favorite statements from Crazy Love tonight; “If life were stable, I’d never need God’s help. Since it’s not, I reach out for Him regularly, I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don’t have control, because it makes me run to God.” My prayer is that we will always run to Him and not be afraid of the unknowns.
